Friends first? Or sex then maybe friendship?

When we first started talking about swinging as more than just a fun fantasy to talk about during sex we talked about the rules that we both wanted and what we wanted out of exploring swinging. The rules was actually an easy thing to agree on; we were both cautious of not going too far and of making sure that we were both comfortable. Most of the rules that we started with quickly went out the window after a few experiences though. What took some more conversations was how we would find other couples and whether we wanted to get to know them well before things got sexual, or whether we just wanted to jump into bed with an attractive couple. That is taking things a little more to the extremes than we talked about, but I wanted to illustrate the difference here.

Initially we decided it would be best to find people that could be friends; people we enjoyed spending time with whether we were having sex or not. We placed our hopes that we could find a couple that would become great friends with us. As we met more and more couples and went through that whole friendship cycle we came to the conclusion that trying to force a friendship was not the right thing to do. We’d find couples we found attractive and had fun with then try to make them ‘friends’ rather than just let things progress however they progressed. We also sought out people who were also interested in making friends which seemed to lead to some of our less than successful experiences.

At some point we sat down and talked about what was important to us and what we wanted out of swinging. We came to the realization that we thought we needed to be friends with a couple that we met for sex. Some kind of a rationalization left over from being single and dating I suppose; you’re supposed to have a connection with people you’re having sex with. We decided that it was ok to meet a couple purely for sex and that it was ok if we never developed any kind of friendship with them. As long as they were fun to be around when we are with them and we find them sexually attractive then we are happy to escalate things with them towards a sexual encounter.

Anyone else gone through a similar path? In talking to some other swingers, both in person and online, it seems to be a common progression.

 

Finding out your good friends are swingers

When we started this journey of exploring swinging we talked about how we were going to find couples to swing with. There was a lot of discussion between Katrina and I over a long period of time. She wanted it to be an organic kind of experience where it “just happened” and wanted it to be with people we already knew and she was comfortable with. I preferred to find people we didn’t know yet so we could build a friendship with them that started with swinging. I knew how to find those people (the internet; sites like Adult Friend Finder and Swing Lifestyle), but broaching that kind of subject with our friends, well that I just didn’t know how to do.

One night we were out at a party, hanging out by the pool in our friends backyard. We’re over there for a BBQ and pool party with a bunch of our friends, everyone is having a great time; good food, some drinks and girls in bikinis. How can you go wrong? The hosts of the party are close friends of ours, in fact she is possibly Katrinas best friend. They’ve known each other for over 10 years and always have a great time hanging out together. Since they are our very good friends we stuck around until the end of the party, lazing around on the loungers by the pool chatting and relaxing, then helping them clean up a bit. At some point as we’re talking about the party someone made a joke about swinging (they have a playground nearby) and that sparked a bunch of jokes about our next party turning into a swinging party, one of those ‘fishbowl-key-parties’ and a bunch of other jokes.

Well once those jokes started, Katrina and I were stealing naughty looks at each other since we had that dirty little secret about how we had been swinging. It was an exciting few minutes for us and we laughed about it a lot when we finally left and headed home. It was one of those “if they only knew” kind of moments. Except, when the jokes were happening and Katrina and I were stealing naughty glances at each other I could have sworn I saw our friends stealing naughty glances at each other too. I dismissed it though, figuring that I was just transferring my own naughty frame of mind onto them.

Boy was I way off!

A few months later, we get a call from them late one night wondering what we were up to. They had gone home early from a party they were at and we were on our way home from a night out as well so we redirected ourselves and dropped by their place to hang out for a bit and have a few more drinks. As soon as we walked in the door I felt a strange vibe, but it was kind of late and we’d all had a few drinks so I dismissed it again. I really need to stop doing that! After we got ourselves a drink (mine is Rye and Coke, Katrinas is Gin and Tonic) we all sat down in the living room to chill. Katrina and Jill on the couch, Dave on the loveseat and me in the chair. We chat for about 5 minutes, then in a lull in the conversation Jill locks eyes with Katrina, leans in and kisses her. A long, soft kiss.

What?!

Here they are, friends for 10 years. They’d never kissed, never indicated any interest in kissing to each other, never mentioned they were interested in girls at all to each other, yet here they were kissing. Right in front of my eyes. Once they stopped kissing (it felt like a long time, but it was just a nice, soft normally long kiss) the room was silent again. That nervous, awkward excitement kind of quiet. Finally I broke the silence with the ever so smooth “Wow, that was incredibly hot!”

I know, I am fucking awesome. How the hell did I ever manage to get Katrina in the first place with that kind of drivel pouring out of my mouth?!

Anyway, it made everyone laugh so I guess it wasn’t all bad. Broke the tension and Katrina asked Jill where that had come from. Dave piped in there saying that Jill had been talking and fantasizing about Katrina for at least a year. Jill and Dave had started talking about swinging, threesomes and all of that; as soon as they started talking about it Katrina was the girl Jill admitted to being attracted to and lusting about. I can’t blame her, Katrina has incredibly sexy curves and is one of those people who has a very natural sexuality to her. Both girls were blushing and neither really knew what to do. So again I asserted my awesome smoothness with the gem: “I want to see you two kiss again”. Once again everyone laughed, but the girls took that as persmission to have a serious makeout session. I may have only said I wanted to see them kiss, but it was pure passionate kissing and that passion only kept building. As they were kissing clothes started to be pulled off, they started exploring each others bodies and before long these two best friends were naked on the couch in a 69.

Wow, again. When I had started my night we were on our way out to have dinner and a couple of drinks with some colleagues from my work. I never even considered I would be seeing Katrina enjoying the touch of another woman, and I certainly never imagined that it would be her best friend. I have to admit I was excited to see Jill naked; in those 10 years of friendship I have seen her in a bikini countless times, but never naked. It was worth the wait. Dave and I sat back letting the two girls explore each other, letting them enjoy being with each other. In all honesty I think they forgot we were even there for a while! It was incredibly hot and I was having a very hard time not ripping my clothes off and fucking one of them. It was too soon for that though, we had never even discussed any of those with them before! So we let them continue and once they had both had an orgasm they sat back on the couch and giggled like schoolgirls.

Dave and I got them a drink of water and while we were doing that they chatted, giggled and looked like they were hatching an evil plan. My kind of evil plan. After taking a long drink they had barely put their glasses of water down on the table before they launched at Dave and I; Katrina rapidly stripped off Daves shirt, unbuckled his belt and had his jeans around his ankles before he even had a chance to grasp what was going on. As soon as she took his cock in her mouth though his whole expression changed and he had just about the biggest grin I have ever seen him have. Jill and I took a bit more time and we both watched Katrina and Dave a bit, enjoying the sights and sounds of lust nearby, but we quickly followed suit. I stripped down with Jills help (and insistence) then I lay her down on the floor and went down on her. The rest of the night was spent with the four of us exploring each other with lots of foreplay, but no swapped sex. We stuck to soft swap and Dave and I ended up fucking our own girl while the two of them were 69’ing again (I just had to set that up after lusting about it when they first started just the two of them!)

Wow, again!!

We trundled off home around 5am, exhausted, tipsy and totally giddy! After sleeping in and grabbing some breakfast we called them up and were eager to chat. We’d spent a lot of time fucking, but not much time talking lol. So we invited them over for some coffee and we all sat down to chat about what had happened, where we were all at with it, what everyone thought etc. It turns out that they had about as much swinging experience that we had. They’d even gone to the same swingers club that we had, but somehow we had never gone on the same night (we’ve only been a few times so its not that surprising). I was laughing a lot because it is just too bizarre that we all started doing this around the same time and had been keeping it a secret from each other for so long. We kept our clothes on for the coffee chat and a few hours later they headed home and we wandered to the bedroom to fuck again.

We met them a few more times after that first night for some sexual hi -inx, but unfortunately things didn’t turn out as rosy as it seemed they would at the start. The girls quickly started planning vacations, weekends away and all sorts of stuff; after 2 more swinging dates though it was obvious that this just wasn’t going to work. Some issues between Dave and Jill surfaced and we backed things off preferring to keep our long friendship.

I’ll explain how that all went down in another post!

 

Another swinging experience … continued

In our last post we described our encounter with meeting another couple, but we left it hanging a little bit since the post had gotten a little long. At the end of the last post we had spent a great night having drinks with another couple and ended the night with some kissing and a bit of intimate moments between the girls. All in all a great night and everyone got along great.

After that night we continued to talk frequently with them online having a great time getting to know each other a lot better. We all continued to be very busy so it was at least 2 or 3 weeks before we could arrange to have a night out together, but we made the plans and kept chatting frequently. Finally the 3 weeks had passed with probably too much chatting going on, but our night out finally arrived and we all met at the restaurant that we’d chosen and settled into a very secluded and intimate booth for a great dinner. There was some awkward moments at the beginning of dinner, but we all settled into some fun flirting and enjoyed the dinner and a few drinks. Dinner passed very quickly and we all decided to head back to our place, which was near-by, to have some dessert…..and the maybe some real dessert 😉

Once back at our place there was a bit of awkwardness again with none of us really knowing how to get the sexual things started. With the first couple it was a lot easier because we were at the swingers club and since everyone had to get naked when we went upstairs moving to sex was a lot easier. This time we all unsure of how to do it, so I finally broke the ice by saying that I thought the two girls looked very sexy when they had been kissing and they should do it again. That was all the kick they needed and the two girls started things off marvelously. As things progressed with clothes coming off and the girls getting more and more into each other they suddenly woke up from their little world that included just the two of them, had a quiet little conference between them and jumped up to come across to the guys. Katrina when to him, and Sara came to me; things started with kissing, but the girls quickly started ripping our clothes off and got busy making sure we didn’t feel left out at all.

Now that we were all involved things started moving rapidly; once I was naked too and Sara had spent some time getting to know my naked body I picked her up, laid her down and explored her as well. As her orgasm was building I looked up to see Tom and Katrina in the same position we were in and a happy look on her face. Once we had brought both girls to orgasm we moved things to the bedroom and kept up the fun with the girls each enjoying three of us making them cum and both girls ensuring that the guys got a blowjob from both of them at the same time (one of my favourite moments so far actually). After making Sara cum once again it was time to take that leap and Katrina asked Sara if she wanted to fuck me.

So with Sara crawling over to me with a lustful look on her face Katrina and Tom started to kiss and get a condom out for their own fun. I took a minute to kiss Sara and soak the moment in, but she seemed to not be really into what I was doing. It was a bit strange as she had been very receptive all night, but I figured maybe I was just taking too long and she was ready to have sex and frustrated. So as I was getting a condom and putting it on, I looked down to Sara with her eyes closed and a hand on her pussy. Thinking back I probably should have recognized the signs of what was up, but in the moment I thought she was playing with herself…..I couldn’t have been more wrong. I get the condom on and move between her legs, as soon as I do that she starts talking to me about how hot I was and how she was ready. That was all the signs I needed and I started to put it inside her, but after a few strokes she pushed me away and jumped off the bed running into the washroom down the hall (not even the en-suite washroom!). Katrina and Tom were busy, but I interrupted to let them know I was pretty sure something was wrong with Sara and perhaps Tom wanted to go check on her.

Doh! So, here we are, three naked people hanging around the washroom door and it’s Katrina and I knocking and checking on Sara with Tom hanging around saying she was probably ok. Not a shining moment for him as a boyfriend. She responds tearily that she wasn’t ok and we all but shove Tom in the damn door to talk to her as Katrina and I go to get dressed. I’m freaked out thinking I did something to upset her, Katrina is freaked out thinking she did something wrong and is also upset because Tom was having trouble getting hard and she was very self conscious about it (thoughts of whether he found her attractive, was she not good enough in bed etc.) All in all, just a lot of bad thoughts going around. When Sara finally emerged from the bathroom, got dressed and cleaned up a bit she admitted that seeing Tom and Katrina having ‘sex’ had freaked her out. They hung out for a bit to talk about it, but holy crap was it ever an awkward situation. I don’t think it actually made anyone feel better and I think all it did was extend an already awkward night a little longer! I was glad to see them take off, in part because Sara seemed a bit better, but in part because I wanted to talk with Katrina alone and give ourselves a chance to decompress about the whole situation.

It freaked us both out and really upset Katrina. It was the first time we’d had anyone to our house and was with a couple that we thought we could develop a great friendship with. Neither one of us really wanted to screw up what had been becoming a potentially great friendship and we definitely never wanted to make anyone that upset with any of this! We are all about having fun, this is an extension of an already fun and exciting life that is meant to enhance it!

What I was very disappointed about was that we had all talked before doing anything and agreed that if any one of us was uncomfortable with anything that was going on we just had to say the word and we’d all stop and go back to what we were all comfortable with. All she had to do at anytime was say she wasn’t ready for it and none of us would have cared. For whatever reason she didn’t though, and it actually took Katrina a while to get over it. We have agreed to not have anyone to our house for any swinging activities anytime soon though.

What has happened since? We’ve kept in contact with them and went for drinks again a few days later to try and get things on the table and cleared up. I’m not sure it helped really as all Katrina can picture when she thinks about it is the image of Sara crying and running out of the room. We’ve tried to remain friends and continue building that friendship, but it hasn’t been an easy thing to do. Bottom line though is that there won’t be anymore swinging with Sara and Tom, any ongoing relationship with them will be strictly friends.

Thankfully, so far this has been our only real bad experience! Hopefully it remains our lone bad experience lol

 

Our first swinging experience

I guess the first swinging experience is probably the night that we first went to the swingers club, but since all we did was dance together and no one else was involved thats a far less interesting story. Although it was very interesting to be dancing and have women approach me confidently and completely unashamed of their sexuality. It caught me off guard at first, but it was (and continues to be) a very cool thing to see and be a part of. On subsequent visits to that swingers club I have noticed that not all women there have that kind of approach, but it was a cool introduction into this whole thing.

Thats a bit off topic though (I tend to do that, stream of consciousness writing!), so….on with the show!

In our first post I quickly got right to the point of describing how we got in touch with the first couple we were going to meet. Within less than a week from sending our first email to them we found ourselves at Saturday night with the phone number of another couple in our cellphone and plans to meet them for drinks, then head to the swinger club for some dancing and debauchery if we all got along well. Since it was “Miniskirt and heels” night at the swinger club I picked out the shortest possible skirt that I could (I bought Katrina one that looks more like a belt than a skirt….so hot) and she put on a long sweater dress on top of that to hide it since we were going to a normal bar first. Oddly enough we pulled into the parking lot at the bar exactly the same time as the other couple; just as Katrina and I were talking about whether we’d recognize them or not, we looked over and saw them walking towards us.

We all walked in to the bar together, grabbed a corner booth, ordered some drinks and started chatting. It was awkward at first; they had never done this before and we’d never even met anyone for drinks before, but after a drink we all relaxed a bit and did a bit of flirting, got to know each other a bit. We were all a bit hesitant to openly flirt with the others spouse right there in front of them and the two girls didn’t really have any idea of how to flirt with another girl so thinking back on it, the whole thing was pretty funny. Even now when we meet a couple we are still awkward and uncomfortable about the flirting thing at first, but we haven’t met many couples still so that will get easier I think. We quickly all realized we were totally attracted to each other (the girls found each other hot, I thought his wife was a knockout and he was blown away by my sexy Katrina…I assume she thought I was cute lol). So we had a quick conference with our respective spouses and decided to hit the swingers club.

At the swingers club there were a few shots done to loosen up and a lot of dancing. Still not too much flirting, but the girls danced a bit together and we all awkwardly went about dancing and having fun together until finally someone mercifully suggested we go upstairs to the on-premise part of the club to get naked 😉 We got upstairs, sat in some chairs and nervously chatted a bit more sexually before walking around together to find a good place we could all comfortably lay down. There was no romance or build up to this at all, just pure “we all want to do this, lets find somewhere to go”. All that awkwardness over the night that we’d spent together so far had built up a lot of sexual tension and it was about to be released. That anticipation, the thoughts of what I would think of seeing my gorgeous wife kiss, suck and grope another man; the thoughts of what my wife would think of seeing me kiss, lick, fondle and suck another woman. We all climbed into an area of the club that was a room with a giant mattress play area about the size of 10 beds put together (it is actually 10 beds put together lol) and I started fooling around with my wife, him with his wife. Suddenly the girls took over and the guys sat back to let them have their fun and I watched while they had sex with each other, the first time with another woman for both of them.

It was an exciting way to start our swinging experience and when he and I jumped back in I went to his wife and he to mine. It was very strange to look over and see him kissing my wife, going down on her and the look of pure pleasure on her face while he did it. I say strange because I felt a bit of jealousy, but I was also very calm and at ease with it. It seemed ok, seemed very hot, seemed almost normal. In talking about it afterwards on the drive home Katrina exclaimed that she was completely surprised at how comfortable she was with everything that happened; shocked at how easy going the vibe was and how normal it seemed to be doing it. Also surprised her a bit at how aroused she had gotten through the whole thing. We didn’t have full on sex with the other couple, we stopped short of doing that although we blew the few rules out of the water that we’d set out for ourselves. Our plan was to only have the girls play with each other and the guys would play with their own wife, but we ended up doing everything but have sex with the others wife. No one pushed us to go that far, we just went with the flow of what we were comfortable with in the moment and let go of our rules.

Before the night started I was unsure of whether Katrina would want to do this again, but on the drive home after we chatted about our experience for a bit there was a little silence while we both processed the events of the night. She broke the silence with “So….do you think they are busy next weekend?”

 

Our introduction – Slevin and Katrina start exploring

We’ve been reading a lot of blogs on sex, swinging, polyamory and other related subjects (with some naked pictures and porn mixed in) for a fair while now and I finally decided that I wanted to blog a bit about our experiences exploring this side of our relationship.
So to introduce ourselves, we are Slevin and Katrina (no, not really…but those are some cool damn names); we are that nauseating couple who were highschool sweethearts that lasted through the years and finally ended up getting married. We’re in our early 30’s, been married for about 7 years and only this year did we finally decide that we would start bringing other people into our sex life. It is something that we talked about off and on for quite a while, I brought up the idea of a threesome to a very chilly reception by Katrina. I was a bit of an idiot about it, brought it up in a very idiotic way and rather than being smart about talking about it what I did is better described as ‘pestering’. Thankfully I let that die for a while and found a much smarter way to approach it and in that time Katrina also started fantasizing about it more.

Finally this year after a lot of fantasizing and talking about it during sex I told Katrina that we were going to go to a swingers club. We went a few times to a great swinger club in town and just kept to ourselves and had fun. Once we were both comfortable with that I suggested we look online to see if there were other couples that we were both attracted to that we might like to meet. We signed up on a couple of sites and sifted through a lot of ads, talked about what we were comfortable with, the kind of people we wanted to meet and all kinds of stuff. It seemed like we’d just keep talking about it on and on forever, but then in October we sent a message to a very hot looking couple and immediately struck up a great flirtatious rapport with them. After a couple of emails we decided not to waste anytime and arranged to meet for a drink that weekend. We picked a time and place, exchange phone numbers and it was all planned….

We were about to meet our first couple on our way to some awesome sexual adventures.