When we first started talking about swinging as more than just a fun fantasy to talk about during sex we talked about the rules that we both wanted and what we wanted out of exploring swinging. The rules was actually an easy thing to agree on; we were both cautious of not going too far and of making sure that we were both comfortable. Most of the rules that we started with quickly went out the window after a few experiences though. What took some more conversations was how we would find other couples and whether we wanted to get to know them well before things got sexual, or whether we just wanted to jump into bed with an attractive couple. That is taking things a little more to the extremes than we talked about, but I wanted to illustrate the difference here.
Initially we decided it would be best to find people that could be friends; people we enjoyed spending time with whether we were having sex or not. We placed our hopes that we could find a couple that would become great friends with us. As we met more and more couples and went through that whole friendship cycle we came to the conclusion that trying to force a friendship was not the right thing to do. We’d find couples we found attractive and had fun with then try to make them ‘friends’ rather than just let things progress however they progressed. We also sought out people who were also interested in making friends which seemed to lead to some of our less than successful experiences.
At some point we sat down and talked about what was important to us and what we wanted out of swinging. We came to the realization that we thought we needed to be friends with a couple that we met for sex. Some kind of a rationalization left over from being single and dating I suppose; you’re supposed to have a connection with people you’re having sex with. We decided that it was ok to meet a couple purely for sex and that it was ok if we never developed any kind of friendship with them. As long as they were fun to be around when we are with them and we find them sexually attractive then we are happy to escalate things with them towards a sexual encounter.
Anyone else gone through a similar path? In talking to some other swingers, both in person and online, it seems to be a common progression.
Wow, have I ever been slack! Last post was in July and I left it hanging? Man I am a jerk 😉
So the last post left off that we had a great time after realizing that some good friends of ours were interested in swinging.
After we had our wild night we all got together for a coffee the next day to talk about what had happened. It was a little strained, but we got it out in the open that we were into it and they seemed quite open that they were excited about the prospect of swinging, and of swinging with us specifically. After a few days we all got together for dinner and just had a normal friends type dinner night, though we did stay a bit later than normal and drank a bit more than normal. I think we were all kind of hoping that something would happen, though none of us wanted to be the one that escalated it after agreeing that a friendly dinner would be a good idea. Dinner was very strained at first as we were all trying to get used to the new dynamic or how things would work, how much flirting was appropriate etc. Did I already say that?
I got a few txts from Dave that week and we planned another night where we’d all get together and have some sexual fun again. Dave went off to talk to Jill and I talked to Katrina and we set things up. I texted Jill a few times (I’ve always texted her, even long before this), but she wasn’t so responsive. I figured her very busy and stressful job was just getting in the way there as it has in the past. Our night out came up and we got together for some dinner, drinks and let things lead where they would go. Jill had a lot of wine and kept topping up Katrinas glass as well so the two of them were very tipsy. Actually, Katrina was tipsy, but Jill was drunk. After dinner and some flirting the girls did a striptease together that became quite a hilarious activity since Jill was drunk and Katrina is a klutz when shes sober. The strip tease escalated to the girls kissing, the girls, caressing and very quickly became the girls having sex together. A hot site that I can’t stay uninvolved with for very long!
So Dave and I stripped down and joined in, but after the girls both had a great orgasm Jill went off to the bathroom and dragged Katrina with her. We could hear them in there plotting together to come back in and give the both of us a blowjob and how far they would take it. When they came back in Jill went to Dave and a surprised Katrina (who thought she was going to give Dave a blowjob based on what Jill had only seconds before suggested) came and gave me a fantastic blowjob. Things continued to escalate, though we stuck with our own partners. While having sex with Katrina we could see Jill whispering in Daves ear; not a big deal really as I like to talk dirty to Katrina as well and often whisper into her ear for added effect, but something about the situation just didn’t feel right. At one point we heard her whispering that all she wanted was him to herself…………ok then!
So things just continued to get more uncomfortable for Katrina and I and we weren’t really sure what to do. We suggested flat out that maybe it was best to just call it a night, but they both empatically said that they wanted to stay and have fun. It was obvious that wasn’t the case though. We stumbled through some awkwardness there and were thankful to finally see them go.
During the next week Jill continued to avoid my texts, Dave kept insisting that Jill totally wanted to keep swinging and that we had nothing to feel awkward or concerned about and when Katrina would try to talk to Jill she’d only respond if it was normal stuff. Any flirting or direct conversation about what happened on the weekend or swinging was just flatly ignored.
Quite obvious something wasn’t right and neither one of them were being honest with us!
Katrina and I talked mid-week and decided that even if Jill called and wanted to setup another swinging date that we weren’t interested. We told them both that we just didn’t feel comfortable and would prefer to just remain friends. They were still in denial about it, but we just avoided seeing them for a few weeks and made sure that when we did hang out again it was friends only and we left before anything more could happen. We were both disappointed, but not really that it didn’t work out with them, rather disappointed that they didn’t seem able to talk openly and honestly about anything. Maybe two months after this we got a call from Jill that she had broken up with Dave and got a much more honest insight from her into why things had gotten weird, although Dave refutes them. We still have no idea what the reality of the situation was, but we’re glad we avoided getting any further emotionally involved in a sexual relationship with them as their relationship was ending!
Thankfully we’ve had great experiences since then 🙂
An exploring couple 